My bucket list.

You always dream about what might happen to you, that's just apart of being human.  Everyone dreams about everything.  Today my cousin asked me how would I like to die, and the question has plagued me.  

Would I like to die in the line of duty?

Would I like to die in a hospital bed with my loved ones surrounding me?

Would I like to die of old age, sleeping?

There are so many scenarios.  And honestly I don't know.  What I do know is that I want to live my life to the fullest, I want to do the things that I've always wanted to do

My Bucket List (so far):

1. Go back to Hawai'i

2. Scuba Dive

3. Sky diving

4. The biggest roller coaster in the world!

5. Change someone's life for the better

6. Marry

7. Get my degree, maybe in political science?

8. Have children

9. Tell my family I love them each and every day.

10. Live my life.

There will be more to come, that's just my beginning.

I'll try to put 5-10 on the end of each blog, however I can't promise anything, in the end if I don't think of anything else, and make it into one big blog.  

I wish those people who have gone to boot camp or waiting to go, or those that are still in the process to become a United States Sailor, Soldier, or anything else tons of luck.  We'll need it.

I will do this!

I will become a Sailor in the United States Navy, I will do this.  Nothing is stopping me from doing this except for myself.  I WILL DO THIS!  I will make my family proud of me.  I will make the world proud of me.  I will make myself proud.  I have something to prove, to myself, to the world.  Lets do this!

Motivation?

You know, I was in the shower thinking about what I was going to write in this.  And now it's completely left me.  All the words I had planned out!  Man don't you just hate that.

But the reason why I chose this particular topic is because I have none, I've lost my excitement for life, I've lost my energy, my need to just be apart of the bigger picture.  And I'm not sure why this is.  Maybe I'm just stuck, or maybe it's because people bury me in the dirt whenever I tell them what I plan on doing.  Such as...  my father.  I told him I was planning on joining the Navy, after MEPS, and he tells me oh?  Really?  As if he expects less from me.  And then I get i trouble for asking my aunt about some information I needed to know.  What else am I supposed to do, my step mom, grandma, and dad aren't picking up the phone.

In the beginning I get so excited about something, about everything.  And then I start to talk to people about it like my mom, and the subject begins to fade and I'm no longer excited about it.  Or at least you can't see the excitement on the outside.

I'm not like my cousins, I did horrible in School, in my personal life.  And so I learn when being questioned about anything just shut down.  Take everything in, but don't answer.  Kind of just disappear in the wood workings or whatever it's called.

So I need to find motivation.  And maybe that comes with getting a job.  Which lets just say not alot of people are hiring right now!

I don't know but either way I have to get up and start getting motivated!  This week will be busy of just doing that.  Motivation!