This Pain

It's so brilliant,
This pain
that I could
Never live without.

This pain
Is hidden beneath
The smiles,
And the whispers.
This pain
Is hidden beneath
The love
You see in me.

I can hide it.
From them,
From myself.
But this pain,
Always comes back.

I wonder
What caused it,
I wonder
If I'll ever
Live without it.

This pain
Breaks me in half.
The blood
In my veins
Turns black.

This pain
Makes me hide
My tears away.

This pain
Never leaves me.
It's always
In the shadows.

This pain
Is only mine
to carry,
It's only mine
to hold.

This pain
This pain
This pain
Is only mine
to hate.